Perfect Weddings: A Romantic Comedy by Lynda Renham

Author:Lynda Renham [Renham, Lynda]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Raucous Publishing
Published: 2016-04-11T16:00:00+00:00

* * *

Miss Wong is down a dark alley just off the main street. Patsy flings open the door and Asian music greets us which, I have to admit, is much calmer than the ‘Night Fever’ which we’d just left. We are led to a table by a girl clad in Chinese dress and given a cocktail menu. I feel suddenly huge. I swear the heat in the nightclub has made me double in size. Either that or my dress has shrunk.

‘This is more like it,’ I whisper to Rosie. ‘I’ve less chance of getting throttled here.’

‘Someone tried to throttle you?’ gasps Rosie.

‘Not deliberately.’

‘Someone tried to accidentally throttle you?’

‘It really isn’t important,’ I sigh.

‘Let’s all try the Indochine Martini,’ suggests Patsy. ‘A few of those should get us well and truly wasted,’ she laughs.

I feel well and truly wasted already, in more ways than one. It’s hard work being twenty-eight. Everyone expects you to have a good time. In fact everyone thinks you want a good time and that includes lots of sex. Frankly, I’m not getting much of either. I look around the dimly lit club and sigh with relief to see there are no other hen parties here. The tables are either taken by couples or groups of men. One rowdy group wave at us and I’m about to turn away when one of them stands up and calls,

‘Hey, Amy Fisher, is that you?’

Oh no, it’s Jack. It’s been three years since I’ve seen him and of all the times for him to turn up it has to be now.

‘Did he say Amy Fisher?’ asks Georgie, looking around. ‘Where is she?’

‘No I don’t think so,’ I say.

The waitress returns with our cocktails. She sets them down and eyes Georgie’s huge bling.

‘Beautiful,’ she says.

I see Jack heading towards our table and quickly jump up.

‘I desperately need a pee,’ I say.

‘Is that Jack?’ whispers Rosie. ‘He’s looking good.’

‘Don’t look his way,’ I hiss, before staggering to meet him.

I grab his arm.

‘Amy, it is you? You look so different, I barely recognised you. Where are we going?’

‘To the loo,’ I say, glancing behind me. Fortunately, Georgie is side-tracked by the cocktail waitress.

‘Don’t you think we’re moving a bit fast here? I’ve not seen you in three years. Shouldn’t we have a drink first before having sex in the loo?’

I pull him into the corridor that leads to the toilets.

‘Don’t flatter yourself Jack. I didn’t fancy you three years ago, so I certainly don’t fancy you now.’

‘Thanks for that blow to my confidence.’

‘I’m not Amy Fisher any more. I can’t have anyone overhearing you call me that.’

Jack looks sceptical.

‘So who are you now then, Jane Bond under cover?’ he laughs. ‘I have to say you are looking great. I wasn’t sure it was you. You’ve lost tons of weight and look so different. I like the blonde hair, it really suits you. But why do you have to be incognito?’

I see Georgie approaching and my heart jumps into my mouth.

‘Just don’t call me Amy Fisher,’ I say quickly.

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